Fire Cloud...
An irregular marking on the exterior of Native American pottery: usually resulting from burning fuel coming in direct contact with the vessel during firing

Monday, 10 December 2012

Why did the turtle cross the road?

The Florida softshell turtle (Apalone ferox) is a species of softshell turtle native to the southeastern United States and is one of the fastest turtles to move on land.

They are an aquatic and carnivorous turtle. Why this one would choose to stick its' neck out and try to cross a Florida highway with no water in sight is anyone's guess.

MARVIN: The other side is just as dull as this one. Don't talk to me about turtles.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more turtles have to cross the road before you believe it?


CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no turtle has gone before.

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the turtle crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

DARWIN: Turtles, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN: Whether the turtle crossed the road or the road moved beneath the turtle depends upon your frame of reference.

PRESIDENT CLINTON : I did not, and I repeat, I did not have sexual relations with that turtle.

JOSEPH STALIN: I don't care. Catch it. Crack its shell to make my soup.

Highway 70 crosses the Florida peninsula from west to east. It runs though Bradenton, Arcadia, Ochachobee and Fort Pierce. Most of what you see between the Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic ocean are cattle or orange grove.

I annoy Mrs. Phred by playing the hyper-mileage game, surreptitiously turning off the air conditioner and running five miles per hour below the posted speed limit. Gradually the miles per gallon indicator approaches 38 as she becomes increasingly overheated....

Our purpose in crossing Florida is to visit my cousin Katie. Her father and my mother were brother and sister. My mother had two other brothers and they all produced offspring in 1943 after departing the country in 1942. These then result in my three cousins who are all my age. Katie and I spend a little time discussing the difficulties inherent in a possible 70th reunion next year.

Katie and I both joined the United States Air Force in June, 1963. We went to a movie together at the Lackland AFB movie theatre. "Strategic Air Command" was playing. I think maybe Jimmy Stewart was the star.

Alicia is in the ninth grade. She plays trombone in the Christmas parade. Alicia is Katie's grand daughter though her son Mike. She calls me uncle Bob

This is Alicia's brother, Brandon. He is in his 2nd year of university.

So what's new? For one thing I joined facebook and promptly left it by deactivating my account. I didn't like it at all....Also I bought Mrs. Phred one of those Apple phones that has the SIRI lady. She has a sense of humor....

Gallery: The 12 Funniest Siri Responses

Gallery: The 12 Funniest Siri Responses

Gallery: The 12 Funniest Siri Responses

Gallery: The 12 Funniest Siri Responses


  1. so is the panarama photo done on the 5?.....looks like you had fun.......OMG if finally works

  2. No. the cows are shot with a real camera, cropped to appear panaramic...