Wake Forest, North Carolina
Today is the anniversary of the wedding of our son and daughter-in-law. We have agreed to watch the kids so they can have a rare night out. South in the morning on to Atlanta.
Bart: Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know... the birth of Santa.
Bart: What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog? Looks like he's trying to jump over, but he can't quite make it.
Bart: I smell a museum.
Homer: Yeah, good things don't end with 'eum,' they end with 'mania' or 'teria.'
Homer: I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
Cartman: Too bad drinking scotch isn't a paying job or Kenny's dad would be a millionaire.
Mr. Garrison: A haiku is just like a normal American poem except it doesn't rhyme and it's totally stupid.
Mr. Garrison: Genetic engineering is a way to fix God's horrible mistakes, like German people.