Weinermobile Crashes into Home

Mt. Pleasant, Wisconsin

When you see the beautiful Oscar Mayer Wienermobile, your first thought is, "Damn, I wish I had one of those". Apparently, a 22 year-old lady Wienermobile driver put one of these lovely machines in forward instead of reverse and crashed it though the garage of a Mt. Pleasant home, cracking the foundation of the house.

The first Wienermobile rolled out in 1936. One was pulled over in Colorado for a stolen license plate several years ago. Eventually it was determined that the plate should be considered stolen only when not attached to a Wienermobile.

After 15 years of attempts, I finally beat Mrs. Phred in a tennis set. The score was 6-3. My life has included many triumphs, but none was so sweet as this victory.
We wandered the coast of Oregon today. The sand dunes dominate this area for almost 50 miles.
In the morning we'll move north maybe 80 or 100 miles.
The dunes attract a number of OHVs (off road vehicles). These are full sized vehicles like dune buggies that are not licenced to drive on highways. There are also ATVs (all terrain vehicles). These are little four wheel motorcycles by Honda and Kawasaki that are designed for off-road use. We watch a dirt bike do an amazing wheelie up a 700 foot sand dune with a 45 degree slope. I don't really approve of any of this. It seems like shameful conspicuous consumption of gasoline and a crazy mistreatment of lovely high-performance engines in blowing sand. You have to wonder how many of these machines and the trailers to haul them were financed by easy credit. Oregon has a 12% unemployment rate.

Some of the off-roaders seem relatively young. They like to start them early.

The dunes extend up to 20 miles inland and rise to heights of 800 feet.. Sand washes up on the beach and is dried and blown inland by the sea breeze. It's the middle of July and the temperature near the beach hovers near 50 degrees F. As you move inland 20 miles it raises to near 100 degrees.

The Wienermobile

Mountain Home, Arkansas - 17 March, 2006

We are parked in a heavily wooded clearing in the Ozarks. This is Paul's redoubt, heavily fortified and secure. Paul claims to have papers that certify him as insane due to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. We met in 1972 shortly after we both returned from Vietnam. We find time to sit in rockers on his porch and he explains his latest research.


Paul sells his research to the money changers. He is perhaps the foremost expert in the world on the credit and debit card industry. Paul spends most of his time flying around to interview corporate moguls and magnates so that he can sell his findings about new developments in this strange new form of money.

He talks to me about waving a cell phone at a cashier to pay for a cheeseburger. He speaks of RFID. This are the tiny rice-grain size passive chips that make the alarms go off when one walks out of the store without paying. RFID chips are being implanted in factory workers to eliminate time clocks, provide access to secure areas and aid in job cost calculations. This new technology, he tells me will soon speed airport luggage to its destination. These chips, with medical history are being implanted in elderly Washington, DC patients. Wal-Mart tractor trailers now are completely inventoried as they roll past a scanning device.

Later, Paul takes me to the local Wal-mart where we see the famous Oscar Meyer Wienermobile parked and serving hot dogs. Paul takes my picture with his cell phone standing in front of this incredible and artful piece of American culture. I buy a package of JB Weld epoxy and a Sirius satellite receiver for a total of $42, including tax.

My faithful companion and I drive Paul's 1982 Dodge Ram pickup truck into town. I have my best tennis scores ever and only lose 6-2, 6-2. At times I was close to making it 6-3 with lots of add-ins and add-outs.

The JB Weld has lots of testimonials on the back of the package. One man says he used it to patch a cracked block on a D-8 Caterpillar tractor and saved $10,000 and 30 days of down time. We pull the tank on the motorcycle, mix up the two tubes and try to patch the leaking gas tank. We also adjust the chain tension and apply molybdenum chain lube. The epoxy is drying overnight.

We watch Batman Begins in the evening on St Patrick's day after a dinner of corned beef and cabbage. This is the latest and best of the Batman movies. Paul has partially moved into the new house he and Diane have been constructing for three years. Tomorrow he plans to work on his front porch while his son-in-law installs a 24 port network switch and punches down the RJ-45 receptacles.


Visits here are always very interesting. Paul's new grand-daughter, Lena, arrives in the evening. She is four months old. The Epoxy patch on the leaking motorcycle gas tank works.