Billy the Mountain

Mount Ranier, Washington

 So we picked up the car at the Seattle Jet-N-Park and drove 3 hours back to Ephrata to pick up the RV. It's all agriculture there and they are spraying rainbows on my morning walks.

Billy the mountain
Billy the mountain
A regular picturesque
Postcardy mountain
Residing between lovely
Rosamond and gorman
With his stunning wife ethel
A tree, a tree.

Billy was a mountain
Ethel was a tree growing off of his shoulder
Billy was a mountain
Billy was a mountain
Ethel was a tree growing off of his shoulder
Ethel was a tree growing off of his shoulder
( hey, hey, hey! )
Billy had two big
Caves for eyes
With a cliff for a jaw
That would go up or down
And whenever it did
He'd puff out some dust
And hack up a boulder, hack.
Hack up a boulder, hack, hack.
Hack up a boulder, hack, hack.
Hack up a boulder.

-Frank Zappa

We drive to Packwood and take the 3 hour drive up into Mount Ranier.

Packwood is a funky little place with lots of wood carvings, saloons and a public library..

In the morning, big elk wander around Packwood eating grass. The volunteer fire department has planted some pretty flowers. I zap myself on the electric fence that they use to keep the elk away.

 After Packwood we drive to Fort Stevens State Park on the north tip of Oregon. We meet Jil and Tom in Astoria for breakfast.

Jil and Tom are in their new camper truck.

"It's off to Las Vegas to check out the lounges,
Pull a few handles and drink a few beers, oh Ethel,
Ethel, my darling, you know that I love you,
I'm glad we could have a vacation this year,
Oh neat-o, glad we could have a vacation this year."

They left that night, crunchin' across the Mojave Desert,
their voices echoing thru the canyons of your minds...
"Ethel, wanna get a cuppa cawfee? Howard Johnson's, ahhh
there's a Howard Johnson's! ... Wanna eat some clams? ...

                                                                   -Frank Zappa-

On the One Hand...

Lake Norfork, Arkansas

We're parked on the shore of Lake Norfork. Our campground is provided by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers. When they build a dam and create a huge recreational lake, they usually throw in a few nicely engineered campgrounds.


You probably read about the incident in California where an old man punched a health care supporter in the nose and had his little finger bitten off in return. It wasn't me. I'm strictly a nose-biter. Sure...it's true I could have put on a pair of adult diapers and driven 30 hours to the California rally. But I didn't...really.


The old guy didn't like the idea of government being involved in health care. One of the biggest worries of this type is that the wrong kind of people might get treated for illnesses or injuries. Then there is also the concern about "death panels" denying treatment to registered Republicans. The irony is that the the old guy got his finger treated with his Medicare card. The doctors couldn't reattach the pinky because of concerns about bacteria. Medicare will cover a tetanus shot.


The lake is lovely. Paul and Diane loaned us their pontoon boat. We go out every day after tennis and read, picnic and swim in a sheltered cove. We used to be boat owners. Due to a long series of expensive disasters, Mrs. Phred and I really appreciate the concept of "other peoples boats" and feel very lucky to have such generous friends.


The boat is called the "ratty bastard". We are a little disappointed that Paul has removed the tiki torches. It's a long boat, with a turning radius similar to an aircraft carrier. As we try to dock it, Mrs. Phred gives me a stream of shouted instructions. I try to turn the helm over to her, but to no avail.

The prime rib at Keller's cove was excellent, as usual. The tattooed waitress tells us that she had her baby since our last visit. They no longer have karaoke, which is an annoyance since I had seriously rehearsed "Billy the Mountain" by Frank Zappa in preparation for the visit.